I guess I do alot more talking on the computer than in person...On here I can be anyone I want, do anything I want...I dunno when i'm on here i'm protected by this glowing screen.
I'm kinda in a weird place at the moment, I feel like i'm stuck in the middle of the ocean, but I can't seem to swim anywhere because I can't make a decision on which way to go...It seems I've been challenging my friendships with the people closest me...always wanting more.
Why can't I just be content?
Well now that I've successfully ruined this friendship...what next? I suppose i'm not sorry that I told you...I'm relieved that I did...But it feels like (and I know this is gonna sound extremely cheesy and cliche) a part of me is missing. on the outside I guess things seem like they're getting back to 'normal' whatever that was.
I don't see you any differently...I guess I've always seen you one way...and that way has evolved and altered over the years but you've always been that beautiful, charismatic girl who spilled BBQ sauce on herself on our first night of cadets (: First impressions aye...
I hate that we hardly hang out because you'd think that you'd be leading me on...That you couldn't just tell me then when you suspected so...That You had to wait for me to say it...But I had to say it...You wouldn't wanna look like a fool now, would you? So many chances gone because of this...
but now that issue has gone...and you know that I don't think your leading me on...But we're not in any position to be hanging out with this whole me getting over you...I guess we had a convenient friendship...and now it's lost its convenience.
I suppose I'd be content if we talked more...but we don't, there's always hesitation...that's who you are...but it's so FUCKING frustrating that you'd make assumptions that we'd change cos we knew...That you don't trust enough to give them the chance to know...
...Fuck all these emotions, Fuck all these awkward feelings, Fuck this distance between us...Don't worry I won't let go (:
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