50) harder than I thought

I thought I had you were I wanted. But I've come to realise that my attention should have been directed somewhere else, someone else. How naive I was to think we could've been something. Now you have nothing to do with me and I have nothing to do with you.

I've taken the time to fill this bowl with memories. Then, all of a sudden it's been knocked over and I'm left with nothing. Just wading my way through the water, trying to fish out what I can. But I suppose now is better than late. Even if now is late. I suppose we're through, but there's still a small part of me that's not letting go, finding any excuse to say something, anything.

I've grown up, but I suppose you can't see that. I feel as if in your eyes I'm still the young naive little child I used to be. But i'm not, I've grown up. I'm more than strong enough to handle my own problems. I'm also old enough to know when I'm not wanted. I can only be pushed away so much till I have to give in to your wants and yield.

Change is inevitable, swift and subtle. Before you know it everything you once knew will have been left behind to make way for something else. I hope you find what your looking for and the comfort you so truly deserve. I'm making my way through the barren wasteland of your emotions, zero visibility from your silence and a heavy heart from the pain I feel.